Men Fr Mars, Women Fr Venus

A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships

John Gray

To begin with, I don’t think this book is sexist or means to inflate sexist ideologies.

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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a story-like analogy about men and women as two distinctive races practicing different cultures, speaking different languages and acting according to different sets of rules, but attracted to the beauty of each other. Now, the puzzle to solve is how these two creatures can avoid inescapable disputes of differences. About the author, John Gray is an author who has built a counseling career on this theme, helping couples on the verge of depressions and divorce.

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Now, in 350 pages, the author describes men and women as two distinctively races with clear-cut characteristics in their values, needs, how they communicate, how they respond to stress, how they perceive each other. At this point, I can imagine how people of different gender categories would be bewildered, trying to fit their piece into a clear picture. It is undeniable that the writing style has been out of reach to many modern audiences. However, that does not mean it is unrelatedly outdated. Acknowledging the fact that it was published in 1992, I think the value of the book remains the same in its core: to resolve conflicts. Though I honestly found many of its details relatable to my parents’ traits, I don’t care much if the book is talking about men or women. Putting the gender aside, I think you will learn a big lesson of mutual understanding, understanding the difference (& the hidden beauty from within) of the other and learn how to accept the imperfections. It is a beautiful lesson of acceptance and improvement. Besides, I think the language used in the book is gentle, encouraging, and constructive that it would not make you feel pushed.

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Having said that, the book is not that sexist does not mean I thoroughly enjoy the book, though. One minus point is that the book is longer than necessary. Also, I prefer reading books with explanations based on cognitive science (I, at this moment, could not recall the book I have read explaining behavior influenced by hormones). I wish the author had approached the topic on a solid ground of cognitive science or at least psychology.

Autumn 2020

August 15, 2020, 3:00:00 PM

3.5

self-help, relationship, psychology

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Men Fr Mars, Women Fr Venus